HAMM. Obvi. Totes. LOL. It’s really ridiculous to me (though I also use abbreviations every so often in text lingo) how every word in written and spoken language is being cut and sliced for the purpose of sounding hip or trendy. I can’t accept this code lingo that plagues our youth and even is oozing into our older generation’s speech. When we speak and communicate with this spliced form of language, we are literally cutting off words entirely. I wonder what this use of lingo says about the way we communicate with each other. I believe there is an epidemic of diarrhea of the mouth.
What do we say to each other? How do we say hello and goodbye? Why do we share certain sorrows openly, through status updates or through unproductive monologues that lead nowhere and make no sense? I ask this question to “we” because I struggle with making sense of it all in my own self.
Recently, I had a stomach ache at work and, along with a glass of wine on an empty stomach and thinking thoughts of inferiority, I decided to cry. Like a toddler needing a hug, I cried. Three of my co-workers saw me and asked what was wrong. I told them, and instead of just dealing with my sadness away from others and seeing in retrospect that my tears were nothing more than irrational craziness, I vomitted from my mouth empty words that did not really express anything. Even though I knew exactly what I should have done and should do, I cried for the purpose of getting attention. This angered my boyfriend and caused a minor tisk between us, and when I re-vomitted the words I said to my other co-workers to him, he said, “What’s the point of this conversation? Why are we talking about this when it makes no sense?” Bam! Yet again, he brought me to the here and now as he so gracefully does, and I felt like a freakin’ idiot.
My point is this: I was born into Generation Awkward and like most of my peers, I feel the need to share rather than to reflect. I feel weighed down by sadness for no real reason, my plight needs to be heard! Why do we choose to speak and write and share our thoughts with the world, especially if they are unproductive? The immediate accessibility of the internet and social networks gives us all who are growing and learning a gateway to publishing and sharing our feelings. But why do we not sit and meditate? Why can’t we have immediate access to a little Buddha that guides us to inner peace rather than reaching out further and further from our inner selves and voice? Why do we (again, “we” here is me hiding behind a general “we” representing others in my age range) react to self-loathing and self-doubt by spewing diarrhea of the mouth to those around us in hopes of ‘figuring it all out’.
I believe now that I am guilty of this social crime and that I am plagued with diarrhea of the mouth.
There is more growth to be had when we reflect, when we take a look at our thoughts and really think about their origins and instead of looking for wisdom out there, we grow when we depend on our own humble wisdom and experience. Intentional speech, intentional actions, deliberate strength are all ideals that I know I need to develop for myself in order to be a more productive, enjoyable, and most importantly, happy person.
Kk now I gtg. Ttyl.
Generation Awkward 